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I have been friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered numerous challenges, which I admire. However, she's repeatedly blindsided by others. Her partner left her, and it was an unexpected event. Many of close acquaintances vanished at that point, because they seemed drawn to him. She was stunned by her. She put in greater energy in our friendship, likely grasped more clearly what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many of her friends vanished leaving her certain of the reason. Her last employer turned on her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, she departed unaware of why things shifted.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both stepped back from work and are seeing each other more, however, I feel the part I play in our friendship is as the audience. I open subjects only for her to redirect them to things she cares about. Politically, she expresses unyielding views. I attempt to propose verifying facts and different perspectives.

She is arranging a vacation abroad I know well many times and resided in previously. I tried to provide personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She essentially solely sought validation of her decisions. I have returned from 30 days in that country and she wants to catch up, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to be a friend that walks away without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the impact of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, my state is distancing myself. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, yet this is seldom the peaceful resolution we imagine. Yet having a direct talk aiming for a solution demands strength and openness from both people.

Therapists recommend applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one requires explaining what typically happens when you talk. It should be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. The second is to tell the way it leaves you feeling. There should be no argument on this point. What you feel are valid, of course. Finally is to ask ways you together can shift the interaction of your friendship."

Consider your friend holds perspectives, thus requiring you to stay open to acknowledge it. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak while I will remain silent for half an hour."

This can be successful in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend might reject your concerns, for those who cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a narrative of their life they're unable to abandon since their identity relies on it being the only thing familiar to them. This is difficult because there's no clear path in such cases, just dead ends. However, she might initially present this way then consider on your words. If you don't achieve a resolution, it will give you peace knowing you were honest with her.