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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Back then, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the words gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who opt out of having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits indicating a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks affirm your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {